Talking the Talk

For all of you young, willing writers out there: I have but one piece of advice (this is more or less what they will tell you at every writing conference, in every writing book, etc.). Writing is a verb. Seems simple doesn't it. Every school-kid knows that "writing is a verb". This verb is often confused with the "talking" verb. They seem so different, don't they? Ask any elementary (or high school or graduate class) what they had rather do- write or talk- and I'd be willing to bet that, given the choice, most (as in 100%) would lean toward the talking option. It is alot more fun. But even the serious student of writing has this confusion from "day one". They will most always blend the "writing" in with the "talking". What does this mean? For even the most passionate novelist in training, writing is often talking. Most folks get pretty skilled at telling you (and definately, other writers that share the same passion) what they "are going to write". It is really fun. You talk about the books that you are going to write, the songs you are going to write, the screenplays you are going to write, the articles you are going to publish. You talk about the mood of your novel, the writers you admire, what is lacking in the movies that are at the cinema, your theory on why a certain type of story has been closed out by the main stream, why music stinks today compared with the poets of long ago. But in the end it all amount to a bunch of talking and not much (if any) writing. Converstation between friends fades quickly and is rarely the stuff of historical significance unless it is written. The written word changes everything. If I had done the hard work and written most of the things that I had talked about writing, volumes would be in my collection. It might not be great, but it would BE (as in exist). Talking is great. The majority of my personal break-throughs have come by my talking with a trusted friend, but they have been just that- personal. They have not really benefited society. There is a distinct difference between changing my mind and changing "things". It is probally at this point that you (if you have not fallen asleep) are asking yourself "what in the world does this have to do with this whole story I'm following!"" I'm not some girly poet. I don't need a seminar on geek stuff."

But I have sorta noticed that "doing good" (or charity) is alot like what I've been talking about with the "writer's delima". Have you ever said (something like) if i had a million dollars like Brittney Aguilera, I'd build a hospital or really afordable coffee shop? It is fun to talk about the thing we "would" or "are going to do" if we had tons of cash; but a hospital probaly cost a good bit of money( even if we had a million or so) and while most us haven't developed a lean because of the weight of our wallets, we have more than a few dollars to rub together, but yet a few bucks in the coffers of the homeless is totally out of the question (let's hear it for run on sentences!!!! Faukner fans....anyone?.....anyone?)

Point I'm trying to make is that it is easy to talk about the good we are going to do, the lives we are going to change, the books we are going to write, the person we are going to help- it's a whole different matter in the actual doing of our grand deeds. The doing is HARD, seriously, it is hard. I struggle with this stuff everyday. I dream of making my mark on the world. I wan't to leave this place a better place, but man, Judge Judy is really letting them have it!!!!!!!!!! Where was I? It is really easy to get distracted.

Think about it.

Phil

Finding our purpose

So, the other night Niki and I stopped by the Slug-fest. I was interesting just walking around and talking to people. You haven't lived till you have attended a small town carnival. The coolest thing (besides those big blow-up balls with kids in them- if you were there, you know what I'm talking about) was the look of wonder in the kids eyes. They aren't bored like teens and adults. Everyday they learn something new and life is play and play is learning. What in the world happens to us as we mature? I'm no Socrates (I learned to spell his name watching Bill and Teds Ex. Adventure!), but it seems to me like our bodies mature (as we grow into our teens) and we keep on doing basically the same things we were doing when we were a kid. We hang out with friends, play video games, watch TV, etc. The difference between 6 and 16 is that we have sorta maxed out the learning potential from just hanging out with friends. It's not that doing these things is bad, but at 10, give me a backyard, my brother Jeremy Smith, a Red Ryder and I was content for hours. It was an adventure! At 18 we sat around on Shiloh Road and talked about how much we hated this small town. A lot of the wonder was fading with the current situation. It is at this time that people can start working on "difficult" things, but our brains go on auto-pilot. We are totally mature enough to undertake the significant, but we wait for God to throw us a bone. We wait for things to sorta fall into our laps. I see this all the time. My students (this could hold the same for 99.9% of folks) don't realize the impact that working on difficult thing can have on their lives. It is the not knowing of the outcome that creates the tension we need to find ourselves. We like to play a safety, but the not knowing of the outcome creates the same wonder that we had as a kid. It feels good to be the best at something- to
play within our comfort zone. We like to dominate something, but this does not open any new windows to what God wants from us. Everyone knows when they are born, but who among us really finds why they were born? We all have a purpose. Have you ever thought that there is a unique thing that only "you" can accomplish to make this world a better place? Our lives are not an accident. We can all make a difference. But what are the "difficult" things that I'm talking about? It is all about pushing the limits. Reading a novel is easy, writing one is NOT!!!!! Try to learn a new language. Will you be able to do it? Who knows? Who cares!?!!. The important thing is that you tried and the journey will open things in you that your never knew were there by just going through the automated motions of life. Try stepping out on that ledge. It is called Faith. The great men of Faith stepped beyond their comfort zone. Moses was content with his legs under another man's table, eating another mans food, but God had something bigger in store for ole Moses. He had something custom made for him. He has something custom made for me and you, but you can bet that we will both resist. It is only natural. Do you want that same wonder and anti-boredom you had when you were 6, when life was one big Slug-fest? Ask and you will receive- as the good book says. When we started this journey, I was weak and unsure. How will this all end? I really have no ideal? But God has given me new legs and a purpose. If I follow him, I will succeed. That I know. The long road to China is filled with uncertainty, but I know my child is there. And I will find him.
Phil

Simplifying - to God be the Glory

I wrote 2 nights ago about giving the ax to DirectTV to save $.  We are trying to simplify more to save $ and I got to thinking what do we really need?  We only have as much as we do by God's grace!  Why are we here and not a homeless, poverty stricken orphan in Africa or any other person?  Honestly, I don't know why God chose us to have all that we as Americans have, but we should be thankful for the simplest things in life.  I'm talking to myself because I'm so thankful for so much that I forget simplicity......food to eat, roof over our head, clothes to wear, etc.  Our children probably pray some of the best prayers when you sit there waiting to eat and they are praying "Thank you God for the sun, rain, doors, rocks, dirt, birds, dogs, cats, sky, grass, (they peek around with one eye and you think they are finishing)......and for the floor, the table, the chair, water, food, and the list goes on and on.  You know those prayers and it's the simplest things that they pray for that we often take for granted.   We want to be obedient to God's calling and honestly serving Him is the only way to true happiness.  We've all been so conditioned to the  "American Dream" and thinking about what we should have or deserve because we worked hard.  It's alright to turn down the material things we think we need in exchange for seeking God's will - for us it's taking orphans into our home. God calls us all to care for the orphans and the widows, I do not believe this means He calls us all to adopt  I believe that He does not call all to adopt,  but we can all help out the orphans and widows.  That may mean helping a widow shop, clean,  care for her children - financially &/or emotionally - maybe this would keep her from feeling like she had no choice but to give them up for adoption. It may mean being a support network for an orphan, supporting an organization that cares for orphans &/or widows.  Maybe for you it means helping someone bring their child home.  You can help the widows and orphans with support, your time, and prayers - it doesn't always have to be $ we are called to help with. And for a few lucky ones it means we have been called to bring a child into our home to love as we do all our other children because that is our gift. There are many things people can do to take care of others.  We do have nice things and I think most people think we have a lot more than we really have financially.  We've always been private and kept things to ourselves, but since we are taking you on our journey, we should bring you into our world.  We've read many, many places on how to save $ to adopt so you don't go broke.  It's kinda funny because I'm so cheap, I could have written most everything I've read and expanded on them! lol  Phil says if something costs $10, I'll find a way to pay $5 for it.......and he is right.  I honestly don't think if I was a billionaire I'd not find a way to save $ on purchases - that's just me!  I've been buying stuff up in bulk when it was on sale, buying for Christmas with clearance items in July, buying off-seasons, & shopping the discount stores even before "saving as much $ as you can on purchases" was the cool thing to do.   We work hard too and I'm not saying that entitles me to anything - think about how hard the Africans work everyday just to have food and water - I don't think i could ever carry those heavy pottery pieces filled with water on my back.......unless I had to for my family and I to survive!   But my point is that Phil & I learn how to do things ourselves and save lots of $.  When we bought our house, we got a really good price for it and  WE remolded it.  Unless it was something that was structural, we studied up on how to do it and WE did it!  We do that with everything we can. I don't buy name-brand.....unless I can purchase it on clearance, second-hand & as cheap as anything from Wal-Mart on sale!  lol  Unless it's something I HAVE to have for an occasion that popped up, I don't usually pay full price at Wal-Mart if I can help it - I shop for bargains with food, shampoo, and those type items, but I cannot always pay cheap, cheap prices for those, but I do my best!  However, I almost always buy the cheapest brand....unless it's ketchup and I cannot handle the off brand in it.......yeah, poor me.  lol     Ladies, Please don't get offended with what I'm gonna say next!   I read about people going to get pedicures or manicures  and there is nothing wrong with that.  But hold your jaw, I've never had a pedicure, massage, and only 2 manicures in my entire life.  2 manicures - our wedding and another occasion I'd completely bitten off my fingernails & was showing jewelry - both of those manicures came from a beauty college and they did a great job! Well, those of you that have ever looked at my hands can probably believe it; I definitely have work hands and that's o.k. with me! lol  We don't trade vehicles often and have had 3 vehicles since we married - 1 we had no choice in purchasing because we had totaled another vehicle.  We may shop around for a year before we make a purchase like that and we have purchased wrecked and repaired vehicles to save money.  This last vehicle we purchased was strictly because we needed more room.  We've told the kids they had better take care of it because it is going to last until the tires fall off. lol O.k. you can chuckle at this one too, but no one in the house really goes to get hair cuts but Colt. For Phil, he & I cut his hair with clippers & scissors.  I get maybe 2 haircuts a year from a beautician.  I use to cut Colt's hair, but I cannot make it look right so we pay $10 every 8-10 weeks to get his hair cut.  Why every 8-10 weeks?  Well, because I trim it up around his eyes & ears until it looses it shape.  And for Macy Jade, you guessed it; I cut her hair too.  We may not have the best hair around, but maybe my scissors are the fault of that.  Oh well, it doesn't seem to bother any of us! lol  It's just hair and it grows back.....eventually.  I'm a beauticians worst night mare when I come in to finally get the 4" dead ends cut off of my hair I've been cutting on for 6 months.  I could go on and on about how we rarely spend full price and about how cheap I am, but I would have a book.  I think you get the idea though.  Yes, some of my cheapness has come out of necessity for staying home for the last 8 years and some of it is I'm just plain ole' cheap!   We can all make sacrifices when it's important enough to us and staying at home was another calling from God so we adapted our lives so I could be here. The bottom line is GOD DOES PROVIDE!   Nothing here is really ours anyway. When we die we don't take it with us!  The more we get; it seems the more we want!   We just have to take that first step in faith; trust me it's not an easy step!!!  I don't know where the $ is coming from  to adopt our kids and pay all the medical bills, but God knows and I have faith in Him.    I believe we have to use our gifts to help ourselves and to have common sense in spending.  I don't think He is going to just drop down a bucket of $ into my bank account - however that would be nice.   It's about the choices we make, sacrificing (however how is leaving material things off for an orphan really sacrifice?) and just being obedient.  Please don't take this to mean we never do anything, but we decide what is important to us and cut corners to make it happen.  We have been blessed!  What would you do to bring your child home?  Yes, we are talking about orphans, but one or more of "those orphans" is/are our child(ren) & no different than Colt and Macy Jade to us.  If you had a child in another country, would you do all you had to bring him/her home to you?  We are really doing no different than most others would do for their kids.   We are just ordinary people cutting more corners on things that aren't necessities.  We are fundraising with shirts, sales, coffee,  sitting in the hot sun all day on the 4th of July meeting some of the nicest people.......but it was HOT and any other way we can help raise the $ ALONG with changing our lifestyle too.  We  hope that along our journey, we can also raise awareness and understanding of the situations in other countries, orphans, and on our soon to be multiracial family.   It's not much to ask to get our child(ren) out of a foreign orphanage!  In our house, we are all learning to live without more and I believe we will be happier in the end for it. We have never ever wanted to ask for help, but we will do whatever it takes to bring our child(ren) home - even if it means turning off the DirectTV and humbling ourselves to ask for help!   (0:   They say money isn't everything, but it sure helps the world turn round.....I know this may seem contradictory to my entire post.  I'm not referring to financial needs for materialistic items.  It takes a lot of $ to adopt internationally and to help these orphans and others less fortunate.   Also, ask someone that has a sick child and getting services denied because insurance will not pay and they cannot pay $30,000+ a month to help save the life of their child.  Alone, we cannot not concur much, but together I believe we could turn the world.   We are a work in process........To God be the Glory!  Thank you all for your continued prayers and support!  You have all been a blessing & encouragement to us!  Please continue to pray for us and ALL our children!