Talking the Talk

For all of you young, willing writers out there: I have but one piece of advice (this is more or less what they will tell you at every writing conference, in every writing book, etc.). Writing is a verb. Seems simple doesn't it. Every school-kid knows that "writing is a verb". This verb is often confused with the "talking" verb. They seem so different, don't they? Ask any elementary (or high school or graduate class) what they had rather do- write or talk- and I'd be willing to bet that, given the choice, most (as in 100%) would lean toward the talking option. It is alot more fun. But even the serious student of writing has this confusion from "day one". They will most always blend the "writing" in with the "talking". What does this mean? For even the most passionate novelist in training, writing is often talking. Most folks get pretty skilled at telling you (and definately, other writers that share the same passion) what they "are going to write". It is really fun. You talk about the books that you are going to write, the songs you are going to write, the screenplays you are going to write, the articles you are going to publish. You talk about the mood of your novel, the writers you admire, what is lacking in the movies that are at the cinema, your theory on why a certain type of story has been closed out by the main stream, why music stinks today compared with the poets of long ago. But in the end it all amount to a bunch of talking and not much (if any) writing. Converstation between friends fades quickly and is rarely the stuff of historical significance unless it is written. The written word changes everything. If I had done the hard work and written most of the things that I had talked about writing, volumes would be in my collection. It might not be great, but it would BE (as in exist). Talking is great. The majority of my personal break-throughs have come by my talking with a trusted friend, but they have been just that- personal. They have not really benefited society. There is a distinct difference between changing my mind and changing "things". It is probally at this point that you (if you have not fallen asleep) are asking yourself "what in the world does this have to do with this whole story I'm following!"" I'm not some girly poet. I don't need a seminar on geek stuff."

But I have sorta noticed that "doing good" (or charity) is alot like what I've been talking about with the "writer's delima". Have you ever said (something like) if i had a million dollars like Brittney Aguilera, I'd build a hospital or really afordable coffee shop? It is fun to talk about the thing we "would" or "are going to do" if we had tons of cash; but a hospital probaly cost a good bit of money( even if we had a million or so) and while most us haven't developed a lean because of the weight of our wallets, we have more than a few dollars to rub together, but yet a few bucks in the coffers of the homeless is totally out of the question (let's hear it for run on sentences!!!! Faukner fans....anyone?.....anyone?)

Point I'm trying to make is that it is easy to talk about the good we are going to do, the lives we are going to change, the books we are going to write, the person we are going to help- it's a whole different matter in the actual doing of our grand deeds. The doing is HARD, seriously, it is hard. I struggle with this stuff everyday. I dream of making my mark on the world. I wan't to leave this place a better place, but man, Judge Judy is really letting them have it!!!!!!!!!! Where was I? It is really easy to get distracted.

Think about it.

Phil

Update & Lots of folks needing prayers

Time just does not slow down!  First, I want to thank everyone that came out Saturday and supported us at the area speaking!  We enjoyed each one of you that came by to speak to us!  Thank you for all the emotional & financial support!  I know this is not a buying time of the year, but many of you purchased & many of you are coming back for Christmas gifts.  I cannot stress enough how much all the prayers, support, & encouragement means to us!  Each one of you have been very special!  Thank you & thank you for coming Saturday.  

On Saturday, I had a few very nice people say to me that they hoped we were able  to bring our children home.  I didn't know what the first person meant by it.  By the second time, I realized that people were meaning they hoped we would raise the funds.  When I realized what they meant, I clarified that we  would bring our children home!  I didn't take any offense to these kind people at all, but took it as a very kind wish of encouragement!  They were extremely kind and were being very nice, but we want you all to know that no matter what it takes, we will bring our children home.  And we would love to oneday help others bring home their children - one more happy family, one less orphan! (0:  Money should not be an object when you are getting this kind of payoff & we will always support & help others that are trying to rescue  & make an orphan part of their family!

This is a mission from God & not necessarily an easy one, but we will follow His will no matter what it takes.  We feel blessed, honored,  and excited that we have been chosen to parent more kids!  Someone said kinda kidding "Did God come talk with you & Phil one day?"  Well, actually yes & no.  He did not physically appear in our kitchen and talk to us, but we have been listening to His words and asking Him to lead us.  I believe if we ask then stop and listen, God will nudge you in the right directions.  I know I sometimes ask, but forget to take the time to listen.  I ignored the calling to adopt internationally for a while because I didn't think it was something we were in a position to do.  When Phil spoke with me one night and said he thought we were being called to adopt, chills ran up my spine!  I said "I know; I've been dodging God"  You cannot hide from Him though! lol  We've never felt a calling like this before and unless you have felt something so strongly, you might not understand!  We have a feeling this is just the beginning of many missions He has for us, but we are trying to take it one step at a time. 

Update on adoption:  The social worker came to our house on Friday and I think it went very well.  She is very nice and never makes us feel nervous!  She is a blessing!  We hope to get the last 2 visits in this week so our home study will be complete.  Once we complete the home-study, we can begin the process of having everything notarized, sealed, etc.  Then, the paperwork is off to China to get translated! :0)

Also, we didn't mention it on the internet, but several people knew that we found another little boy on the site over the weekend.  We sent in a message about him, but he had found his home.  It's heartbreaking, but we knew this would happen along our journey.  I'm thankful for many things with this: 1.) I'm very thankful he found his home!  2.) Our prayers were to God that if he wasn't our child then to have a roadblock for us {found a home, we weren't eligible to adopt him for some reason, etc.}  
God again answered our prayers and I'm so thankful!!! 


There are a few people that are really needing prayers at this time.  Terry Smith's wife, Kim, unexpectedly had open heart surgery yesterday.  Most of you from Corinth probably know them.  Phil has always thought so much of Terry; he was Phil's youth minister when he was growing up.  Phil told Terry yesterday we would ask for prayers for them through this difficult time.


Also, I've asked several times for prayers for Ethan Jostad 
but he isn't getting any better.  His family is having an extremely hard time and have asked for prayers from everyone.  I cannot imagine my child being that sick; I pray my blessings for today will go to this family!


Lots of things going on & I thank each one of you for reading our posts and praying for us!  You don't know how very much the support we get means to us!  It helps us get through this grueling process so much better!  I hope you all are having a great week & God bless each one of you!
Love to all, 
Niki


"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." 
Proverbs 3:5-6
 

"FILLER"

We all have a story. Everybody. We have "a story of us". Most folks won't have their story made into a movie (not even a Lifetime movie!- though Sara Gilbert could use the work) The Biography Channel probably won't even notice. The vast majority of us will play-out our story and it will be quietly put on society's shelf with the zillion of other biographies placed their to collect dust. And so will be the story of your life. Seems insignificant, doesn't it. You are not all that important in the grand scheme of things. Your actions are fairly pointless.

Sadly, this has been MY attitude for....well...... most of my life. What could I REALLY do? I'm not in a high position of authority. I'm not surrounded by "yes men" all day telling me how cool I am. I don't own a Fortune 500 company. I haven't written an Oscar winner. I can't even find my flip-flops! And I LOVE THOSE FILP-FLOPS!!!

It is so easy to get caught up in the "it is other people's job" to make an impact, that we (I know "I") forget that nothing that happens on God's earth is unnoticed. It is all important. That is the cool thing about life. You are shaping the outcome of things and you probably haven't even noticed. Now, that is a BIG THOUGHT. The challenge comes with the "what will I do with this?"

I love movies. Always have. Ever since seeing Star Wars at the Skylark Drive Inn in the 70's, I have been hooked. I love a good story. I can always get "lost" in the lure of film. They say that the sign of a solid screen-play is that every scene is critical to the conclusion of the film. Have you ever seen a "boring" movie? Sure, we all have. Chances are that the STORY was not boring. Believe me, to get a screen-play made into a feature-length film takes more hoop jumping than a poodle in the Shiner's Circus. The problem, more than likely, lied in the writer putting in scenes that were not critical to the outcome of the movie- or FILLER. Filler is bad! It's main purpose on this earth is to simply take up space- to eat away at the clock! This is the way the movie business works, but this is not the way life works. What we think of as "Filler" is really having a huge impact on the outcome of our life's movie.

Look back on the last 10 years of your life. What happened in your story that did not effect where you are now? Did some things that seemed trite (at the time) determine the course of your history? The chance encounter, losing your cell phone, missing that appointment. Did it all sorta work together to make you who you are now? Entire marriages have been built on a bad cell phone bill (I'll explain later!)

The cool thing about the Bible is that everything that is induced is absolutely critical to the overall outcome of it's message. Some parts seem insignificant, but a real story lies in each passage. A really cool guy opened me to this reality tonight and for that I am eternally thankful. So much of life has passed me by without my notice. Learning and understanding have been at my fingertips all along. I just have not reached for them. Unlike the movie biz, life has no "filler". Life is sorta like an early Eagles album. Each song has legs and could be the career hit of a lesser band. And sure, some days are our "Hotel California" and some other days are our "New Kid in Town"s but they all play a small part in our very being. We don't hit a home-run very often, but, ever move has it's place.

It has taken me until now to realize that the concept of middle ground doesn't exist. The people I meet on a daily basis are either led to do good or led to do nothing (which is BAD!!) by my direct influence. No man is a "neutral" influence. I have entertained this concept in the past, but I have come to the conclusion that my actions will influence someone. If I am not a GOOD influence, I am a BAD influence. The harsh reality is that there are people who never came to know Christ because of my unwillingness to share the Gospel (or Good News of Christ's sacrifice) with them. Some I'll never see again. Some have gone on to meet their maker. Point is, the opportunity is gone. And I bear a portion of the responsibly of where their soul lies tonight.

God is working with the world now, but he is working through US as his children. He doesn't send his "GODNESS" on those he sees fit. It that were the case whose fault would it be for those who never come to know him? He doesn't pick and choose the hearts he works on. He want's all men to be saved, but it is up to us to be his hands and feet while here on his earth. It would be easy to say "its is someone elses responsibility" or God will work on him; But if we are really honest, we know that is not true. If his word is not spread by us then.... It won't be spread. Simple. Critical. It is a big responsibility. And I lothe responsibility. But, it is what we are here to do if we claim to know him. I am not "preaching" to you, I am "preaching" to me. I am in no position to cast a stone. I need to work on ME (as far as I know, that is the only person I have a proof-positive impact on!) I am trying to get my life in a position in which I can make this world a better place.

I know it is often hard to get to the places we feel comfortable given our colorful pasts. We sometimes feel so inadequate. I know that my story is not filled with great chapters that I want the grand-kids to read, but I am concentrating on the words that are written today and learning to make the most of the ones already written. I've been reading the works of a guy that was a murderer in his youth, been in and out of prison most of his adult life, been beated half to death, and been the government's public enemy #1. His life has had a pretty bid impact on me. Matter of fact he wrote a big portion of the New Testament. His name was Paul, and if God could use him, what could he do with us?

Phil~

Finding our purpose

So, the other night Niki and I stopped by the Slug-fest. I was interesting just walking around and talking to people. You haven't lived till you have attended a small town carnival. The coolest thing (besides those big blow-up balls with kids in them- if you were there, you know what I'm talking about) was the look of wonder in the kids eyes. They aren't bored like teens and adults. Everyday they learn something new and life is play and play is learning. What in the world happens to us as we mature? I'm no Socrates (I learned to spell his name watching Bill and Teds Ex. Adventure!), but it seems to me like our bodies mature (as we grow into our teens) and we keep on doing basically the same things we were doing when we were a kid. We hang out with friends, play video games, watch TV, etc. The difference between 6 and 16 is that we have sorta maxed out the learning potential from just hanging out with friends. It's not that doing these things is bad, but at 10, give me a backyard, my brother Jeremy Smith, a Red Ryder and I was content for hours. It was an adventure! At 18 we sat around on Shiloh Road and talked about how much we hated this small town. A lot of the wonder was fading with the current situation. It is at this time that people can start working on "difficult" things, but our brains go on auto-pilot. We are totally mature enough to undertake the significant, but we wait for God to throw us a bone. We wait for things to sorta fall into our laps. I see this all the time. My students (this could hold the same for 99.9% of folks) don't realize the impact that working on difficult thing can have on their lives. It is the not knowing of the outcome that creates the tension we need to find ourselves. We like to play a safety, but the not knowing of the outcome creates the same wonder that we had as a kid. It feels good to be the best at something- to
play within our comfort zone. We like to dominate something, but this does not open any new windows to what God wants from us. Everyone knows when they are born, but who among us really finds why they were born? We all have a purpose. Have you ever thought that there is a unique thing that only "you" can accomplish to make this world a better place? Our lives are not an accident. We can all make a difference. But what are the "difficult" things that I'm talking about? It is all about pushing the limits. Reading a novel is easy, writing one is NOT!!!!! Try to learn a new language. Will you be able to do it? Who knows? Who cares!?!!. The important thing is that you tried and the journey will open things in you that your never knew were there by just going through the automated motions of life. Try stepping out on that ledge. It is called Faith. The great men of Faith stepped beyond their comfort zone. Moses was content with his legs under another man's table, eating another mans food, but God had something bigger in store for ole Moses. He had something custom made for him. He has something custom made for me and you, but you can bet that we will both resist. It is only natural. Do you want that same wonder and anti-boredom you had when you were 6, when life was one big Slug-fest? Ask and you will receive- as the good book says. When we started this journey, I was weak and unsure. How will this all end? I really have no ideal? But God has given me new legs and a purpose. If I follow him, I will succeed. That I know. The long road to China is filled with uncertainty, but I know my child is there. And I will find him.
Phil

Simplifying - to God be the Glory

I wrote 2 nights ago about giving the ax to DirectTV to save $.  We are trying to simplify more to save $ and I got to thinking what do we really need?  We only have as much as we do by God's grace!  Why are we here and not a homeless, poverty stricken orphan in Africa or any other person?  Honestly, I don't know why God chose us to have all that we as Americans have, but we should be thankful for the simplest things in life.  I'm talking to myself because I'm so thankful for so much that I forget simplicity......food to eat, roof over our head, clothes to wear, etc.  Our children probably pray some of the best prayers when you sit there waiting to eat and they are praying "Thank you God for the sun, rain, doors, rocks, dirt, birds, dogs, cats, sky, grass, (they peek around with one eye and you think they are finishing)......and for the floor, the table, the chair, water, food, and the list goes on and on.  You know those prayers and it's the simplest things that they pray for that we often take for granted.   We want to be obedient to God's calling and honestly serving Him is the only way to true happiness.  We've all been so conditioned to the  "American Dream" and thinking about what we should have or deserve because we worked hard.  It's alright to turn down the material things we think we need in exchange for seeking God's will - for us it's taking orphans into our home. God calls us all to care for the orphans and the widows, I do not believe this means He calls us all to adopt  I believe that He does not call all to adopt,  but we can all help out the orphans and widows.  That may mean helping a widow shop, clean,  care for her children - financially &/or emotionally - maybe this would keep her from feeling like she had no choice but to give them up for adoption. It may mean being a support network for an orphan, supporting an organization that cares for orphans &/or widows.  Maybe for you it means helping someone bring their child home.  You can help the widows and orphans with support, your time, and prayers - it doesn't always have to be $ we are called to help with. And for a few lucky ones it means we have been called to bring a child into our home to love as we do all our other children because that is our gift. There are many things people can do to take care of others.  We do have nice things and I think most people think we have a lot more than we really have financially.  We've always been private and kept things to ourselves, but since we are taking you on our journey, we should bring you into our world.  We've read many, many places on how to save $ to adopt so you don't go broke.  It's kinda funny because I'm so cheap, I could have written most everything I've read and expanded on them! lol  Phil says if something costs $10, I'll find a way to pay $5 for it.......and he is right.  I honestly don't think if I was a billionaire I'd not find a way to save $ on purchases - that's just me!  I've been buying stuff up in bulk when it was on sale, buying for Christmas with clearance items in July, buying off-seasons, & shopping the discount stores even before "saving as much $ as you can on purchases" was the cool thing to do.   We work hard too and I'm not saying that entitles me to anything - think about how hard the Africans work everyday just to have food and water - I don't think i could ever carry those heavy pottery pieces filled with water on my back.......unless I had to for my family and I to survive!   But my point is that Phil & I learn how to do things ourselves and save lots of $.  When we bought our house, we got a really good price for it and  WE remolded it.  Unless it was something that was structural, we studied up on how to do it and WE did it!  We do that with everything we can. I don't buy name-brand.....unless I can purchase it on clearance, second-hand & as cheap as anything from Wal-Mart on sale!  lol  Unless it's something I HAVE to have for an occasion that popped up, I don't usually pay full price at Wal-Mart if I can help it - I shop for bargains with food, shampoo, and those type items, but I cannot always pay cheap, cheap prices for those, but I do my best!  However, I almost always buy the cheapest brand....unless it's ketchup and I cannot handle the off brand in it.......yeah, poor me.  lol     Ladies, Please don't get offended with what I'm gonna say next!   I read about people going to get pedicures or manicures  and there is nothing wrong with that.  But hold your jaw, I've never had a pedicure, massage, and only 2 manicures in my entire life.  2 manicures - our wedding and another occasion I'd completely bitten off my fingernails & was showing jewelry - both of those manicures came from a beauty college and they did a great job! Well, those of you that have ever looked at my hands can probably believe it; I definitely have work hands and that's o.k. with me! lol  We don't trade vehicles often and have had 3 vehicles since we married - 1 we had no choice in purchasing because we had totaled another vehicle.  We may shop around for a year before we make a purchase like that and we have purchased wrecked and repaired vehicles to save money.  This last vehicle we purchased was strictly because we needed more room.  We've told the kids they had better take care of it because it is going to last until the tires fall off. lol O.k. you can chuckle at this one too, but no one in the house really goes to get hair cuts but Colt. For Phil, he & I cut his hair with clippers & scissors.  I get maybe 2 haircuts a year from a beautician.  I use to cut Colt's hair, but I cannot make it look right so we pay $10 every 8-10 weeks to get his hair cut.  Why every 8-10 weeks?  Well, because I trim it up around his eyes & ears until it looses it shape.  And for Macy Jade, you guessed it; I cut her hair too.  We may not have the best hair around, but maybe my scissors are the fault of that.  Oh well, it doesn't seem to bother any of us! lol  It's just hair and it grows back.....eventually.  I'm a beauticians worst night mare when I come in to finally get the 4" dead ends cut off of my hair I've been cutting on for 6 months.  I could go on and on about how we rarely spend full price and about how cheap I am, but I would have a book.  I think you get the idea though.  Yes, some of my cheapness has come out of necessity for staying home for the last 8 years and some of it is I'm just plain ole' cheap!   We can all make sacrifices when it's important enough to us and staying at home was another calling from God so we adapted our lives so I could be here. The bottom line is GOD DOES PROVIDE!   Nothing here is really ours anyway. When we die we don't take it with us!  The more we get; it seems the more we want!   We just have to take that first step in faith; trust me it's not an easy step!!!  I don't know where the $ is coming from  to adopt our kids and pay all the medical bills, but God knows and I have faith in Him.    I believe we have to use our gifts to help ourselves and to have common sense in spending.  I don't think He is going to just drop down a bucket of $ into my bank account - however that would be nice.   It's about the choices we make, sacrificing (however how is leaving material things off for an orphan really sacrifice?) and just being obedient.  Please don't take this to mean we never do anything, but we decide what is important to us and cut corners to make it happen.  We have been blessed!  What would you do to bring your child home?  Yes, we are talking about orphans, but one or more of "those orphans" is/are our child(ren) & no different than Colt and Macy Jade to us.  If you had a child in another country, would you do all you had to bring him/her home to you?  We are really doing no different than most others would do for their kids.   We are just ordinary people cutting more corners on things that aren't necessities.  We are fundraising with shirts, sales, coffee,  sitting in the hot sun all day on the 4th of July meeting some of the nicest people.......but it was HOT and any other way we can help raise the $ ALONG with changing our lifestyle too.  We  hope that along our journey, we can also raise awareness and understanding of the situations in other countries, orphans, and on our soon to be multiracial family.   It's not much to ask to get our child(ren) out of a foreign orphanage!  In our house, we are all learning to live without more and I believe we will be happier in the end for it. We have never ever wanted to ask for help, but we will do whatever it takes to bring our child(ren) home - even if it means turning off the DirectTV and humbling ourselves to ask for help!   (0:   They say money isn't everything, but it sure helps the world turn round.....I know this may seem contradictory to my entire post.  I'm not referring to financial needs for materialistic items.  It takes a lot of $ to adopt internationally and to help these orphans and others less fortunate.   Also, ask someone that has a sick child and getting services denied because insurance will not pay and they cannot pay $30,000+ a month to help save the life of their child.  Alone, we cannot not concur much, but together I believe we could turn the world.   We are a work in process........To God be the Glory!  Thank you all for your continued prayers and support!  You have all been a blessing & encouragement to us!  Please continue to pray for us and ALL our children!